When you subpoena a bloated piñata loaded with methane – and break it – you will hear the sound of escaping flatulence: itakethefifthhhhh.  And this sound of breaking wind will be repeated like the chants of thousands of Buddhist’s crying out to be free of gridlock stuck in a Zen trip to nowhere.

All roads in Italy lead to Roma, just like the 18 subpoenas through 1/19 appear to lead to the piñata’s office.

From renting cars in Italy, driving everywhere and back to airport drop-offs, I know that all signage entering highways only says – ROMA.  So if you or your wife is looking for a sign on an access ramp that says Grosseto, forget it.  There are two choices, either get lost or stop your car and search/scratch in the dust for the sign to Grosseto that may once have been painted on the road where the ramp meets a high speed highway with no obvious speed limits – no one in Italy cares anyway.

New Jersey has a bridge to New York called the Washington Bridge; some say it is the most important bridge in the world, with the most traffic.  Yet the Governor of New Jersey does not/did not realize that everyone close to him seems to have decided to massively obstruct traffic without consulting him.  What a bummer.  Et tu Brute?

Although Christie was knee deep in news of the bridge jam after it had been going on for one day, certainly several days, and his office had been deluged with calls to fix the problem, the bloated piñata was not curious about why or how three lanes had been closed for “a four day traffic study” which had caused the jam of all jams.

Where was the sign; CRAPPED UP = FOUR DAY TRAFFIC STUDY.  Perhaps the motivation was to see how  big a jam could be produced by closing 3 critical lanes for 4 week days.  So is it Italian to not care about signage?  Maybe a small sign like this would have sufficed – CLOSED LANES ARE AN EXPRESSION OF YOUR PINATA’S DISAFFECTION ABOUT SOMETHING (unknown until Wildstein sings)  or this – THE PINATA KNOWS NOTHING, KISS MY STAFF’S COLLECTIVE FIRED ASSES – (“it was their idea?”).

Of course, the Governor when asked if he had tried to determine what the lane closings were about proclaimed  he had not spoken (for god knows how long) to his friend David Wildstein; who he had appointed to the Port Authority for the purpose of  having “my ears on the board.”

I bet Wildstein knows why the most important bridge in the world was so critically constipated.  And Wildstein is ready to sing as soon as he gets a large dose of immunity.  Too bad a few days ago – when the piñata suffered a memory lapse when he assured all in attendance in a press conference that he not spoken with his good friend for some time – the piñata  was not (yet) under oath because it could have been perjury.  Yet is another way to say, a subpoena is appropriate.

Update for the Pinata:  David Wildstein who invoked the 5th to remain silent at a legislative hearing. ‘Will be at bridge early Monday to view new test lane,’ Wildstein had emailed.

So, I remember Watergate.  And watched each day as Ron Zeigler, Nixon’s press secretary, explained that – “the President misspoke yesterday” as the truth of the cover up and the break in was unraveled.   Nixon, who always referred to himself in the 3rd person, also explained – “your President misspoke” – again, and again.


For Christie, the bridge scandal’s fallout continues. Photo: (Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)

Steve Kornacki, anchor of MSNBC’s weekend show Up and a longtime observer of New Jersey politics, gave us an extensive analysis on the Political Wire podcast of the bridge scandal that has vexed Gov. Chris Christie (R) and has put a cloud over his political future.

We don’t know how many paths lead to the piñata (pictured above), but 18 subpoenas is a start.  And more apples are being shaken from trees that had previously fallen in silent forests; like the Mayor of Hoboken contending that the piñata had tried to trade Sandy aid for her support of a huge development project.  Nothing like a game of quid pro quo with government money for hurricane relief for so many people who suffered immense and tragic losses?  Just another path to the piñata?

By the time this is over Boardwalk Empire could be in reruns.  This is what we know for sure – emails create a path that is more permanent than breadcrumbs.

Share this
  1. Cheryl

    I think this article says quite a bit …. with much more to come, I’m sure. This is Christie’s “Houston, I think we’ve got a problem” moment!!

  2. Mark,w


    effigy gets strung up,
    and everyone gets a turn whacking with sticks……

    they beat the guts out of it, till all the guts hit the ground,,

    and everyone gets to enjoy the sweet sweet thrill of the victory.